The Covid 19 pandemic has dropped the spotlight on another abomination: Domestic violence.
“For those exposed to this, the time of restraint brings new fears and challenges.”
Since the beginning of the lockdown, there is a sharp increase in the cases of domestic violence that’s reported in South Africa. Marise Swart, clinical psychologist in Pretoria, explains the implications of this. “The social restrictions, which are supposed to keep us safe, at the same time cause social isolation. Women and children who are exposed to domestic violence are therefore even more vulnerable during this time because they have to stay in the same house as the perpetrator for the entire period. There is little chance of escaping, or reaching out for help. For many, the possibility of a better destination is beyond their reach. Children have been betrayed a lot because they have to cope without the support of teachers and other trust figures.
“Research indicates that violence is increasing and becoming more intense in times of need. The current uncertainty can cause abusers to be constantly in a fight or flight mode. Flight is not an option due to the restraining measures, and the high levels of frustration then provoke a fighting reaction that can lead to unleashing all that frustration and anger onto anyone how’s near. This is domestic violence. Substance abuse, dependence and withdrawal of substances can drastically aggravate the situation here. ”
Also remember: Economic and social factors influence the emotional resources and decision making of those who suffer from it. Family members can react anxiously, impulsively or violently due to the many stressors.
What is domestic violence?
Domestic violence can take many forms and men, women and children can all be victims. These include physical, sexual, emotional, verbal and psychological abuse. In some cases, financial or medical support is denied, or victims are prohibited from contacting family or friends. Marise explains: “Abusers abuse time to control, for example, personal communication, children’s behavior, access to social media, and personal privacy. Some do it under the banner of ‘I just want to give you the best’ or ‘I want to protect you’. ”
What should I do
Marise provides the following guidelines for those who are concerned about their or their children’s safety :
- If you find yourself in a violent situation, it is essential that you break the isolation. Your safety is more important than the stay-at-home action. Reach out to neighbors, family, friends and health care professionals.
- Draw up a safety plan for your family’s specific needs. Discuss the plan with a friend, family member, professional counselor, psychologist, or social worker . Write down the steps and hide them. Also take care of a Plan B if your first plan is not feasible. Your plan may involve contacting a friend or family member if your domestic situation feels violent or unsafe . Decide on a code word that you can call out or Whatsapp / SMS for someone. Explain what they should do if they receive the code word, for example to call the police or pick you up.
- Make sure your phone is charged and you know where it is. Provide enough data and airtime and store important numbers on your phone.
- Pack a bag or suitcase with personal documents (IDs and birth certificates), money and chronic medication ready and hide it. Also consider a favorite toy or teddy bear for kids.
