Couples Therapy or Marital Therapy helps individuals in a committed relationship to work through problems or difficulties within their relationship. Couples may choose to work on one or more issues, life transitions or may want to enrich their relationship.

A deeper relationship through couples therapy

Therapy provides a safe and non-judgmental space to explore the patterns, habits, coping mechanisms and ineffective communication patterns contributes to the relationship problem.

More so each partner gets and glimpse into their behaviour or emotions from a different perspective. This may assist in self-growth and greater self-knowledge as an individual in a relationship.

Any relationship has untapped potential.

Learn to leverage each of your individual strengths and work on weaknesses (through therapy) to unlock untapped potential.

At TherapyWise Therapy Centre we provide couples therapy for adolescence and adults of all ages. Our psychologists work with several theoretical approaches, in the interest of the individuals in therapy, to get the relationship to where the couple want it to be. This allows us to ‘meet you where you are’ in your life and draw up a custom treatment plan specific to you.

Some common types of couples therapy that our psychologists are familiar with:

  • Reflective Listening
  • Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT)
  • Narrative Therapy
  • Solution-focused Therapy
  • Gottman Method
  • Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT)

What could have happened for you to need couples therapy?

Everyone has something they can improve. Many couples go to therapy (or marriage counseling) to stop issues from getting bigger, learn good communication skills, learn how to create a fulfilling relationship, and prevent themselves from creating unhealthy patterns in their relationship.

How would I know if couples therapy is a good idea?

For those who are not struggling with personal mental health challenges (anxiety, depression, etc.) but are dealing with issues in their relationship, couples counseling alone might be sufficient. If personal and relationship struggles are present, though, both individual and couples counseling may be more effective.

Things you can do to improve your situation

  • Identify your feelings and practice expressing your emotions. This leads to more productive conversations in and outside therapy.

  • Focus on solutions or the positives. Redirect from negative behaviours or expressions, to positive ones. Try to remain focused on your desired solution or outcome when trying this exercise.

  • Explore the past and identify unhealthy patterns you’ve created. Negative patterns or hurts (e.g. that resulted in your inability to trust) can affect your relationship today.

  • Get alignment between you and your partner by using memories, thoughts or feelings from the beginning of your relationship. This helps you get a better idea of what it felt like to be connected and how the alignment has changed to where you are now.

  • Expressing gratitude towards each other can begin to create a bond that’s built on trust, appreciation and mutual respect.

  • Identifying and talking about each other’s love language will allow you to have a deeper understanding of what makes each of you tick. These include: Receiving gifts, Words of affirmation, Acts of service, Quality time, and Physical touch.

  • Make time for each other. Commit to a recurring time-slot or arrangement to meet up (e.g. date night) for quality time with each other.

Things that can worsen your situation

  • Making assumptions or jumping to conclusions. It’s important for both individuals to feel understood, so take the time to work through misunderstands so that you can comprehend what your partner is saying/sharing. If you don’t, if can make the individual feel small and insecure.

  • Taking actions without communicating it to your partner. You should communicate why you’re taking certain actions e.g. if you physically have remove yourself from a conversation to regain control of your emotions, share your thoughts and decision with your partner before leaving. Also, agree (together) on a time when the conversation can continue (once you’ve regained your composure) so that the conversation doesn’t hang in the air.

  • Don’t be dismissive or emotionally distant/cold. Hear each other out and give each other the benefit of the doubt.

  • Don’t push to fast too hard. Have patience and respect each other’s readiness and ability to share and express feelings, thoughts or emotions. Demanding things from your partner does not build a fulfilling relationship.

How is couples therapy different from other therapy approaches?

Couples therapy involves the two people who make up the couple. Family therapy involves the members of the family unit. Individual therapy is focused on the individual.

While individual therapies concentrate on a person’s personal struggles, the purpose of couples therapy is to look outside an individual and have a holistic approach to the treatment of a problem.

Therapy is not miracle cure. Therapy can bring great insight into the relationship problem. This insight, may at some stages lead to the relationship ending or blossoming.

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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

  • How long have you been together?
  • What made you seek professional help?
  • Have you been to couples therapy before?
  • What have you done or tried before to promote change?
  • What are your expectations of this couples therapy?
  • How much are you willing to change to keep your relationship alive?
  • What would you consider to be your biggest problem? When did it start?
  • Are there any past conflicts that we need to resolve?
  • Why did you originally fall in love?
  • What are the positive qualities which you bring to the relationship?
  • How would you describe your life together?

  • Communication Issues
  • Emotional Distance
  • Affairs & Infidelity
  • Intimacy Issues
  • Significant Life Events
  • Overcoming Trauma

  • State your feelings openly and honestly. Problems can be addressed best by candidly communicating.
  • Tell your therapist what you want out of therapy.
  • Discuss how the challenges in the relationship have affected you.
  • Don’t deny your role in the relationship, don’t keep secrets and don’t forget to practice what you’ve learnt.

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